Mirror of Regret February 27, 2010

Permanent residence
in the Land of Regret
a life of misery
sure to be led.
I get it, I get it
the uselessness
of living to regret it.

Binge thinking
does serious damage
same as drinking
round after round
why I said what I said
or did what I did.

But
(always there’s a but with me)
Deep reflection often is clearer
When I can see
through the mirror
of regret.

Give me a minute
before with cliches
you tell me to quit it.

I want to embrace the despair
before being cut off
you think it’s guilty pleasure
the tears and the sobs
but it’s how I connect
with pain I’ve caused.

Don’t rush me
to forgive
and to forget
my every mistake,
every misstep.

I know the past
is done and gone
but there are lessons
to learn
and bring along.

I can feel regret
without becoming a wreck
I can reflect on the past
and chart a new path
while being present
here for every second.

Can’t I?

Blind Spots December 21, 2009

Blind spots, they’re everywhere.

In the car
I know right where they are.
All I do is look
and proceed with care.

But the sneaky ones
The ones I can’t see
Are up real close
Like a second skin on me.

Hey, what’s this spot?
A kind friend points.
Where? Where? say I
As I twist my joints.

Maybe it’s nothing
They recant in a hurry
Still I fall apart
Full of angst, full of worry.

Slowly, so slowly
After much deliberation
I twist it together
Filled with inspiration.

And a favorable interpretation.

Now I get it
It all makes sense
And each piece fits
Like a well-built fence.

The relief is intense.

But last it does not.
Because soon here comes
Hey, what’s this spot?

<sigh>

Shelf of Fear December 21, 2009

Carefully constructed conversations
worked like clay in the hands of a potter
take shape in my mind.
Most end up on the shelf, unfinished
to crack and crumble over time.

If spoken into the light
and fired by the words of another
the pieces of my mind
reveal hidden flaws
or unexpected beauty and truth.