A Stiff Neck February 12, 2011

With a stiff little neck
Feeling cramped and alone
The time has come
To leave the safe zone.

What was needed to protect
Is eventually outgrown
Becoming a barrier
To a full life of her own.

With no hesitation
Not full of fears
With no crippling words
Filling her ears.

The baby bird,
Far beyond me,
Breaks through the shell
To fly and be free.

It’s okay she takes a rest
All along the way
That tough exterior
Wasn’t built in a day.

And once she’s out
She’s an ugly mess
Vulnerable and weak
And all out of breath.

But there’s the nest
Made with love and care
To hold her gently
As long as she’s there.

Gathering strength and courage
Being fed bits of food
She realizes soon
There’s more than this, too.

Trembling slightly
Up on the edge
She leaps with faith
Toward what’s up ahead.

Never wondering or worrying
What will happen if she does
The beautiful bird soars
Filled with joy, all abuzz.

Profound and magical
What can be
When we embrace God’s gifts
Wholeheartedly.

I Was Woken November 7, 2010

Strange little vibrations
Deep inside
Angels, hard at work
With me abide.

Next to my heart
A patched up mess
Eight tiny pieces
Removed from my breast.

While they flutter
What will they decide?
Make me healed?
Or let me die?

Will I pass?
if this is a test.
Is my faith rock solid
Upon which I rest?

Fourteen days
Two weeks, too weak
To stay bright
When I feel bleak.

Trying to hang on
To the hopeful notion
For a good purpose
I was woken.

Sage Advice November 7, 2010

“Be here,
be now.”
What does that mean?
Where?? How??

A difficult feat for the multi-tasker.
One thing at a time
Spells disaster.
I can do more, faster and faster.

Body moving on auto-pilot.
Mind traveling,
through time and space.
Spirit in yet another place.

Skillful escape
from the dull and mundane
Whether in, or out
of the throbbing pain.

The present moment
moves slow as molasses
Thick. Dark. Suffocating.
Oddly sweet, nauseating.

I feel discomfort
So ill when at ease.
Enough of the stillness
my left brain pleads.

“Take a moment
and breath in deep.”
Then unused muscles
ache for a week.

It hurts my chest
way up to my shoulder
Filling my stomach
with air like a boulder.

Sending up flames
where quiet fires smolder
I prefer shallow breathing
even if I feel colder.

“Don’t worry, have faith.”
Don’t worry, I’m not.
I’m just totally preoccupied
by this damn little spot.

If I cry because I’m scared
Does that mean I lack faith?
Or am I honoring my feelings?
I can’t keep it straight.

Speaking of “feelings,
not right or wrong,
they just are,”
goes the song.

Still I scramble to find my footing
I teeter and I totter
Between feeling my feelings
And smothering as they’re hotter.

Should I keep my mind right?
Hold tight to my bravado?
Is that The Secret
to a happy tomorrow?

Should I celebrate my tears?
or shove them away?
What is the answer?
Maybe I should “pray.”

Sage advice,
gently given to me
The power of prayer,
a great mystery.

And it’s a novel idea,
me talking to You.
I rarely think of it myself.
It’s crazy, but true.

How do I do it?
My thoughts a riotous mess.
And hearing the small, still voice?
An impossible quest.

But “God is,
and all is well.”
This the one thought
between me and Hell.

You’re the master Spin Master
Who can make two wrongs right.
Wrapping each darkness
with loving light.

Holding me tenderly
through the long night
Even when I struggle
with all of my might.

Room to Grow June 28, 2010

My biggest holes
I’ve come to see
in the mirror of relationship
between you and me.

And I’m beginning to love
those empty places
No longer wanting others
to fill in the spaces.

Those yawning gaps
of varying degrees
Give me room to grow
to become more me.

The fear of knowing
my deepest self
Replaced with love and truth
the whole of spiritual health.

My apologies, forgiveness
gratitude and love
Pour forth from my soul
on the wings of a dove.

So I’ll think of you always
with a thankful heart
and all the special blessings
that were here from the start.

Giant Water Bug May 15, 2010

Like a giant water bug
out of slow moving water
Finding my way
a long lost daughter.

I feel the pull
of the stars, sun and moon
Following them
I should be home soon.

With celestial navigation
I know right where I am
I head for the sky
fear be damned.

Is there a better pond
where still waters aren’t so deep?
So still I can’t see
the truths that I keep.

Might I also find
the perfect mate
with whom vibrant life
I can create?

Beacons of light
to orient my flight
Exhilarating to escape
stagnant waters at night.

I fly and fly
with all my might
A little disoriented
but sure this is right.

Not knowing my sights
are actually set
On an ordinary street lamp
false aide to abet.

Around and around I spiral
toward the artificial light
Much too close
and much too bright.

Exhausted I fall
from a life of aimless flying
After all that effort
I can’t believe I’m dying.

Where did I go wrong?
What’s really true?
Was the seeking a mistake?
Or the path that I flew?

If by some miracle
I happen to survive
Should I return to my pond?
Or give it another try?

Can I trust my knowing
of what is love and truth?
Or will more brightly lit paths
lead me away from You?

A Pan Full of Light April 5, 2010

Sifting through the sands of time
Panhandling for golden moments
Really? This is it?
A few shinning nuggets among the sediments?

But maybe if I let go
of my preconceived notions
Of what is gold
and what is just commotion
Or lumps of coal
from life’s misfortunes.

Might there be
with a touch of the Stone
The richest riches
man has ever known?

The depths within me
and without
Would unite together
banishing doubt.

With new eyes opened
I could wash away the silt
And see a Heaven on earth
that surely can be built.

Words of wisdom
fused with love
Might delight my soul
and move my body as a dove.

And in the final battle
If all went right
I’d see God everywhere
And my pan full of Light.

This Fort January 13, 2010

We built this fort
with all the
energy and optimism
of youthful sport.

A solid foundation
well-laid out
Precise execution
absent of doubt.

It would be the best
there’s ever been!

But we grew tired
And the cold crept in.

Numb and weary
we ditched the plan
Throwing on the layers
as fast as we can.

Certain we’ll
go back later
To fill in the gaps
and empty craters.

On we went
with the rest of our lives
Leaving the fort
on it’s own to survive.

And though we thought
all remained the same
It seems somehow
so much had changed

Imperceptibly,
a little at a time,
It twisted and fell
into yours and mine.

Now here I stand
in the dark, alone
A bit of a stranger
in this place called home.

Clearly I see
that solid foundation
But the mess on top
pricks my eyes with frustration.

I wrestle with the demons
Which ones tell the lie?
Best to start all over-
this can’t be built too high.
Or it’s strong and sturdy,
only slightly awry.

Either way, I pray
my faith will grow stronger
Because I can’t look
any longer
at what used to be
should be, could be
may be.

Turning away
with a silent sigh
kept inside
the tears not cried.
Even with a fort
some things still die.

I Feel God January 3, 2010

I feel God
on lazy Sunday mornings
lying with my lover
gently entwined
quiet as the snowflakes
falling from the sky.

Faith December 24, 2009

A dragon is slain!
Truth by spirit becomes known.
Winter ends again.

Anemone December 21, 2009

Does the sea anemone dream
Of life beyond the coral reef
Of casting off, taking the leap.

Would it fly through the water
To beauties unseen
Or sink to the bottom
To the end of the dream.

Or does it stay grounded
Guilty for feeling discontent
When surrounded by wonders
So clearly heaven sent.

Which life is the one better lived?

Maybe no thought of the past
Or of the tomorrow
Anchored tight, held fast
Only the tide to follow.

Rocking gently with the breeze
Waiting for whatever drops in from the seas.
Living right here, right now
What else matters anyhow.

Or is it more clever
To seek and endeavor
To go for it all
Every one of life’s treasures

Moving forward in faith
Leaving guilt and fear in the wake
Convinced the plan
Is a life beyond grand.

Not for the anemone
But maybe for man.