Crackle, Pop October 11, 2011

Dogs are up
At the crack of dawn
What the hell?
I throw my jeans on.

Once awake
I can’t fall back asleep
I sink into my thoughts
Long and deep.

The fire is hot
But only on one side
The rest, cold and dark
Barely alive.

Conflicting wants,
Competing desires
Might I be consumed
If I lit all those fires?

Isn’t it greedy
To want to have it all?
Shouldn’t I feel grateful
And ignore the call?

Enough is not enough?
Surely that’s my fault
Get it together, girl
Make this yearning halt.

But I keep adding fuel
To the one small fire
Flames burning hotter
Higher and higher.

Crackle, sparks fly
Pop, embers thrown
Seeking to escape
Its contained little home.

Suddenly I realize
The woodpile’s getting smaller
I’ve used it up too fast
And I’m not any warmer.

Somehow that fire
Needs to come from inside
Behind every wall
Where I like to hide.

Not through my children or job
Or in the arms of a man
Will I truly discover
The fire that I am.

This moment of clarity
Feels really good to me.

Still, I haven’t a clue
What, exactly, should I do??

Things Once Green October 10, 2011

Legs hot
Neck cold
Staring in the fire
At the secrets it holds
Released in the heat
White, orange, gold.

Pitch black
Starry sky
Fire light flashes
When I close my eyes
Punctuates the thoughts
Rolling through my mind.

Quiet night
Nature sounds
All the crickets sing
And leaves rustle ’round
Here the small, still voice
I have found.

Sweet cloves
Cinnamon stars
My mouth waters
From the taste in my heart
For the moment content
Right where we are.

October smells
Crisp and comforting
Fresh like apple cider
And sun-baked leaves
The steam of hot coffee
And things once green.

Kissing Clouds October 9, 2011

Warm and cool
Barely there
Like kissing clouds
Sun’s fingers in my hair
Pounding silence
Rushes everywhere.

Days of Summer
In the Fall
Take my breath away
And cushion it all
Joy whispers softly
Yet I hear the call.

A new love grows
Deep in my heart
For this Autumn
Has had a gentle start
Easing the loss
As Summer departs.

True Colors October 9, 2011

As our dependence
On earthly riches
Seeps away
Our brilliant true colors
Burst forth
Like autumn foliage.
More beautiful
Than we ever imagined.