Sticking With Me March 30, 2010

In bed all alone
but not by myself
Evil spirits rise up
with cunning and stealth

The dark night hauls out
memories unbidden
to hold me tight for the ride
I have too many times ridden.

Hot tears rolling cold
into my ears
what I don’t want to see
and don’t want to hear

Stupid fucking tears
cried too many times
for too many years.

Stupid fucking hurt
I’d long since thought
was tapped into dirt

But you insist
on being my friend
sticking with me
until the end.

Like deep etched lines
on hands and face
miracle cures
cannot erase
the effects of the sun
or your hot embrace.

Mantras move my mouth
Despair can’t sink its teeth in
I am not a child.
I am not a victim.

I am powerful.
I am strong.
God help me be that
as I try to move along.

Show Me a Sign March 15, 2010

Sometimes,

no matter how many signs,

I still don’t know

which way to go.

Deconstruction Zone March 15, 2010

Desolate.

Desperate as silent hulking machines
left to stare in shock and disbelief
at the destructive scene.

Massive piles of turned up earth
red and bloody
with roots exposed and shredded trunks
of mangled trees.

Unable to move, wondering
just what have they done
would it have turned out differently
if only someone
had been behind the wheel

Instead of me.

Bubbles March 9, 2010

My mind plays tricks on me
Taking clues from my heart
Breathing life into my hopes and dreams
Carefully wrapped shimmering works of art
Laughing merrily
Until it all falls apart.

Wide-eyes gazing upon the wonders
Miracles float and dance before me
Drawing close despite so many blunders
Deepest yearning for it truly to be.

No longer able to maintain poise
Squealing in delight and leaping for joy
Body now moving of its own accord
Hands unbidden gently touch, then greedily hoard.

Dizzily spinning every which way
Catching the ones within my reach
Pop, pop, pop and a fragrant spray
Too fragile, too fragile! Too late I preach.

I can’t have it, no matter what
Either it bursts or floats high above
With a shove and a kick another door slams shut
My mind hugs my heart, so sorry my love.

Then suddenly the truth in me dawns
It was an illusion all along.